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What is manipulation?

“There are speeches - the meaning is dark or insignificant,
But it is impossible to listen to them without excitement. ”
M. Yu. Lermontov (1841)

Psychological manipulation - a type of social, psychological impact, a socio-psychological phenomenon, which is a desire to change the perception or behavior of other people with the help of hidden , fraudulent or violent tactics . Since, as a rule, such methods promote the interests manipulator, often at the expense of other people, they can be considered operational , violent , dishonest and unethical . Any manipulation of consciousness is an interaction. Victim man can become manipulative only if he acts as co-author , partner in crime . Only if a person, under the influence of the received signals, rebuilds his views, opinions, moods, goals - and begins to act according to a new program - manipulation took place. Manipulation is not only hidden psychological violence, but also temptation. An important role here is played by the use of opinion leaders who influence the formation of opinions within their group.
More often, manipulation is negative coloration . However, the doctor may try to convince the patient to change unhealthy habits. Social exposure is generally considered harmless when it respects the right a person accept it or reject it and is not overly coercive . Depending on the context and motivation, social influence can be covert manipulation.

History of manipulation

“Leopards burst into the temple and lapped from the sacrificial vessels, draining them to the bottom.
This was repeated over and over again.
Eventually, it became possible to foresee and became part of the ceremony.”
(Warning in one of the parables Franz Kafka (1883 — 1924),
who, with his painful psychological revelations
contributed greatly to the creation of modern manipulation technology)

The term "manipulation" is a metaphor and is used in a figurative sense: the dexterity of hands in handling things is transferred in this metaphor to the deft control of people (and, of course, not with hands, but with special " manipulators »).

And in 1931 at work "Nazi Soci" Goebbels is already writing "10 commandments for every National Socialist".
And they sound so good! And how great were these ideas!!!

Wilfried von Aries , one of Goebbels' referents in the last years of the war, referring to " mein kampf"Hitler" and " The psychology of peoples and masses» Gustave Lebon , compiled a "decalogue of propaganda" of his boss, who is the basis of propaganda and manipulation of consciousness!

Laws of manipulation

Mind manipulation postulates

1. People whose minds are being manipulated are treated not as individuals, but as objects, a special kind of thing, deprived of freedom of choice. Manipulation is part of the technology of power.


2. Manipulation is based on the substitution of the true causes of events by imaginary ones, disorienting the object in the direction necessary for the manipulator. This task can be performed both with the help of the media and on the basis of informal channels of information.

Mind manipulation success

1. manipulation ishidden impact , the fact of whichshould not be seen manipulation object. As notedG. Schiller , “To be successful, manipulation must remain invisible. The success of manipulation is guaranteed when the person being manipulated believes that everything that happens is natural and inevitable. In short, manipulation requires a false reality in which its presence will not be felt. . When an attempt at manipulation is revealed and the exposure becomes widely known, the action is usually curtailed, since the revealed fact of such an attempt causes significant damage to the manipulator. Even more carefully concealedthe main objective - so that even the exposure of the very fact of the manipulation attempt does not lead to the clarification of long-term intentions. Therefore, hiding, withholding information is a mandatory feature, although some manipulation techniques include " ultimate self-disclosure », game of sincerity when a politician tears his shirt on his chest and lets a mean man's tear down his cheek.


2. Manipulation is an influence thatrequires considerable skill and knowledge . Since the manipulation of public consciousness has become a technology, professional workers have appeared who own this technology (or parts of it). There was a system of personnel training, scientific institutions, scientific and popular science literature.


3. The condition for successful manipulation is that in the vast majority of cases, the overwhelming majority of citizens do not waste their mental and mental strength, nor time, to doubt the messages.media . A purposeful change in public sentiment creates a field of opportunity ( Overton window ) to implement the manipulative program.

According to George Simon (George K. Simon ), the success of psychological manipulation primarily depends on how skillfully the manipulator is:

• hides aggressive intentions and behavior;


• knows the psychological vulnerabilities of the victim in order to determine what tactics will be most effective;


• has a sufficient level of brutality not to worry about causing damage to the victim if necessary.

The Overton Window Theory

"Overton Window" - political theory, which is described as a "window" borders ideas that can be accepted by society. According to this theory, the political viability of an idea depends more on whether it falls into the "window" than on the preferences of a particular politician. At any given moment, the "window" includes the area of ​​political ideas that can be considered acceptable in the current state of public opinion, views that a politician can hold without fear of being accused of being too radical or extremist. Shift The window at which political action becomes possible does not occur when ideas change among politicians, but when they change in the society that votes for those politicians.

Methods of influencing consciousness

Simon identified the following management methods:

1. Lie - it is difficult to determine if someone is lying during a statement, and often truth may open later when it's too late . The only way to minimize the possibility of being deceived is to realize that certain types of people (especially psychopaths ) are masters in the art of lying and cheating, doing so in a systematic and often subtle way.


2. Deception by default - a very subtle form of lying by withholding a significant amount of the truth. This technique is also used in propaganda.


3. Negation The manipulator refuses to admit that he or she did something wrong.


4. Rationalization - the manipulator justifies his inappropriate behavior . Rationalization closely associated with "back" - a form of propaganda or PR .


5. minimization - a kind of denial in conjunction with rationalization. The manipulator claims that his or her behavior is not as harmful or irresponsible as someone else believes, for example, stating that mockery or insult were just a joke.


6. Selective inattention or selective attention - the manipulator refuses to pay attention to anything that can upset his plans, stating something like "I don't want to hear this."


7. Abstraction - the manipulator does not give direct answer on direct question and instead moves the conversation to another topic .


8. Excuse - similar to distraction, but with the provision of irrelevant, incoherent, obscure answers, using vague expressions.


9. covert intimidation - the manipulator forces the victim to play the role of the defending party, using veiled (subtle, indirect or implied) threats .


10. false guilt is a special kind of scare tactic. The manipulator hints to a conscientious victim that she is not attentive enough, too selfish or frivolous. This usually results in the victim begins to experience negative feelings, falls into a state of uncertainty, anxiety or submission.


11. shame - manipulator uses sarcasm and offensive language to increase fear and self-doubt in the victim. Manipulators use this tactic to make others feel unimportant and therefore submit to them. Shaming tactics can be very subtle, such as a harsh facial expression or look, an unpleasant tone of voice, rhetorical comments, subtle sarcasm. Manipulators can make you feel ashamed even for the audacity to challenge their actions. This is an effective way to nurture the feeling inadequacy in sacrifice.


12. Condemnation of the victim - Compared to any other tactic, this one is the most powerful way to force the victim to be on the defensive while masking the aggressive intent of the manipulator.


13. Playing the role of the victim ("I'm unhappy") - the manipulator portrays himself as a victim of circumstances or someone else's behavior in order to achieve pity, sympathy or compassion and thus achieve the desired goal. Caring and conscientious people cannot help but sympathize with the suffering of others, and the manipulator can often easily play on sympathy in order to achieve cooperation.


14. Playing the role of a servant - the manipulator hides selfish intentions under the guise of serving a nobler cause, for example, claiming to act in a certain way because of "obedience" and "service" to God or a similar authority figure.


15. seduction - the manipulator uses charm, praise, flattery or openly supports the victim in order to reduce her resistance and earn trust and loyalty.


16. Projecting guilt (blaming others) The manipulator makes the victim a scapegoat, often in a subtle, hard-to-find way.


17. Simulation of innocence - the manipulator tries to suggest that any harm he caused was unintentional, or that he did not do what he is accused of. The manipulator may take the form of surprise or indignation. This tactic causes the victim to question their own judgment and possibly their sanity.


18. Simulation of confusion - the manipulator tries to play dumb, pretending that he does not know what they are talking about, or that he has confused an important issue that is brought to his attention.


19. Aggressive anger - The manipulator uses anger to achieve emotional intensity and rage in order to shock the victim into submission. The manipulator does not actually feel angry, only plays the scene. He wants what he wants and becomes "angry" when he doesn't get what he wants.

Depending on the emotions , which appear at the object of manipulation, can be distinguished forms of manipulation:

positive forms:

• intercession,


• reassurance,


• compliment,


• non-verbal flirting (hugging, winking),


• good news message,


• common interests…

negative forms:

• destructive criticism (ridicule, criticism of personality and actions),


• destructive statement (negative facts of the biography, hints and references to past mistakes),


• destructive advice (recommendations for changing position, behavior, peremptory commands and instructions) ...

Vulnerabilities exploited by manipulators

Manipulators usually spend considerable time learning features and vulnerabilities of his victim.

According to Harriet Breaker (Harriet B. Braiker ), manipulators exploit the following vulnerabilities (" buttons "") that can exist in victims:

• passion for pleasure;


• tendency to obtain approval and recognition of others;


• emotophobia - fear of negative emotions;


• lack of independence (assertiveness) and the ability to say “no”;


• unclear self-consciousness (with vague personal boundaries);


• low self-confidence;


• external locus of control.

Vulnerabilities according to Simon :

• naivete - it is too difficult for the victim to accept the idea that some people are cunning, dishonest and ruthless, or she denies that she is in the position of the persecuted,


• superconsciousness - the victim is too eager to give the manipulator the benefit of the doubt and takes his side, that is, the point of view of the persecutor of the victim,


• low self confidence - the victim is not self-confident, she lacks conviction and perseverance, she too easily finds herself in the position of the defending side.


• over-intellectualization - the victim tries too hard to understand the manipulator and believes that he has some understandable reason to harm.


• emotional dependence The victim has a subordinate or dependent personality. The more emotionally dependent the victim is, the more vulnerable they are to exploitation and control.

According to Martin Cantor (Martin Kantor ), the following people are vulnerable to psychopathic manipulators:

• too trusting Honest people often assume that everyone else is honest. They confide in people they barely know, without checking documents and the like. They rarely go to so-called experts;


• too altruistic - the opposite of psychopathic; too honest, too fair, too empathetic;


• too impressionable - excessively amenable to someone else's charm;


• too naive - who cannot believe that there are dishonest people in the world, or who believe that if there are such people, they would not be allowed to act;


• too masochistic - lack of self-esteem and subconscious fear allow you to use them to your advantage. They think they deserve it out of guilt;


• too narcissistic - prone to falling in love with undeserved flattery;


• too greedy - the greedy and dishonest can fall prey to a psychopath who can easily tempt them to act in an immoral way;


• too immature - have inferior judgments and too much trust in exaggerated advertising promises;


• too materialistic - easy prey for loan sharks and get-rich-quick schemes;


• too dependent - need someone else's love and therefore are gullible and inclined to say "yes" when they should answer "no";


• too lonely - can accept any offer of human contact. A psychopathic stranger may offer friendship for a price;


• too impulsive making hasty decisions, such as what to buy or whom to marry, without consulting other people


• too economical - cannot reject a deal, even if they know the reason why the offer is so cheap;


• elderly May be tired and less able to multi-task at the same time. When they hear a promotional offer, they are less likely to assume a scam. Older people are more likely to finance unsuccessful people.

Mind manipulation methodsThere are quite a few used in the media, but the following stand out most often:

1. The use of suggestion.


2. The transfer of a particular fact into the sphere of the general, into the system.


3. The use of rumors, conjectures, interpretations in an unclear political or social situation.


4. A method called "need corpses."


5. The horror method.


6. Hushing up some facts and sticking out others.


7. fragmentation method.


8. Multiple repetitions or " Goebbels method ».


9. The method of absolute lies. The more monstrous the lie, the easier it is to believe in it ( Goebbels ).


10. Creation of false events, hoax.


11. Substitution of facts with beautiful slogans. For example, " Freedom equality Brotherhood ».


12. The dissonance method: the promotion of alternative facts, values ​​and ideas that destroy the common symbols and values ​​of the target group (the concept of the molecular revolution A. Gramsci ).

Everyone found himself in a situation where you want to influence someone else's opinion. This happens at work, at home, in the hospital, in the store - anywhere you have to deal with motivations that run counter to yours. At such moments, the question arises of how to manipulate people so that they perform the actions that you need. Psychology offers many ways to do this. The problem is different: how ethical will it be in relation to others?

What is manipulation

In terms of psychology, manipulation is changing the perception and behavior of other people through covert tactics for personal gain.

For example, a girl sells flowers on the street. She can praise them, smile sweetly and look good, but this will not be manipulation, since she does not target anyone in particular. For her, every passer-by is a potential buyer, and she does not use cunning ways to get her goods bought.

But if she changes tactics and approaches a couple sitting in a cafe with a cute bouquet, unobtrusively offering a man to give it to his beautiful companion, this will be psychological pressure. Refusal for him will mean a demonstration of his greed and the fact that the girl means nothing to him and does not even deserve flowers. Such a story in 90% of cases ends with the manipulator (seller) leaving the victim (male) with what she wanted - money from the sale of the bouquet.

The psychology of manipulation has many risks, ranging from the failure of the original goal to the personality and behavioral disorders that manipulators so often suffer from. There will be no problems if you:

• formulate a specific goal that you will strive for (I want to sell a bouquet to this man);
• consciously choose tactics (I will put pressure on his male ego);
• do no harm (this is not fraud or theft, as in exchange for money you will give flowers).

A manipulator suffering from a mental disorder behaves differently: he acts unconsciously, most often chooses one victim, who, under his influence, suffers physically and morally. This should not be allowed, otherwise you can be registered with a psychiatrist and doom yourself to long-term treatment.

We draw a conclusion. Distinguish between manipulating people as an art to achieve goals and as a mental disorder that harms both you and those around you.

Is manipulation good or bad?

If you set out to master this art, you must know that ethical manipulation of people is an exploitative, violent, and dishonest tactic.

Firstly, it is hidden, that is, it involves partial deception, silence, cunning, lies. Secondly, its goal is to promote the interests of one person at the expense of another, and the first always wins, and the second, after such manipulations, is devastated and ruined. He is forced to do what he does not need, what he does not want, but at the same time, under pressure, he does. On the one hand, he did it voluntarily. On the other hand, he realizes (after a while) that he was psychologically forced to do this.

Despite this, manipulating a person is not always a negative phenomenon. For example, in one of the hospitals, a pulmonologist was visiting. He was often visited by men with many years of experience as a smoker. After the x-ray, he sent them to lie down for a week in the cancer center, ostensibly for prevention and additional research. In fact, the goal was different: seeing people dying of lung cancer in the hospital, many of these patients voluntarily quit smoking. If the doctor had used open tactics of persuasion, he would hardly have been able to achieve such success.

In psychology, this phenomenon is treated neutrally, as, for example ... to a knife. It can become a murder weapon or a faithful assistant in the kitchen - it all depends on whose hands it ends up in. Psychological manipulation is the same knife, and you need to handle it carefully so as not to injure yourself and harm others.

We draw a conclusion. When manipulating people, you need to constantly ask yourself how much the victim will suffer from this. Don't be a monster in achieving your goals.

Goals

To learn how to manipulate, you need to clearly imagine the end result that you want to achieve: for the boss to increase the salary, for the husband to buy, for the colleague to take over part of your project. The wording of the goal should not be too vague and voluminous: I want the respect of my colleagues, the unquestioning obedience of my wife, etc. This will already be psychological violence, as a result of which both will suffer.

As a basis, you can take ready-made goals, which are most often set to manipulate others.

Goal 1. Educational

Most often used by parents - for children, husband - for wife (or vice versa), boss - for subordinates. This is manipulation for good, as the ultimate goal is to make the other person better.

Mom: Dress warmly. Otherwise, you'll catch a cold and have to cancel your weekend trip out of town." The goal is to protect the child from colds, to teach him to dress according to the weather.

Wife: “Darling, I don’t understand anything in mathematics, you are much stronger than me in it, help the child with homework.” The goal is to involve the husband in the upbringing of the children.

Boss: “We didn't reach our target sales this month. If this happens again, I will have to disband the department.” The goal is to make subordinates work better.

Goal 2. Financial

This goal is set by businessmen and bosses, as they pursue financial benefits for themselves. There are a huge number of tools here, ranging from blackmail (“I’ll lose my salary if you don’t increase production efficiency”) and ending with moral destruction (“Your company is unprofitable, cannot withstand competition, therefore an agreement with us is the only salvation for you”).

Although wives also often manipulate their husband for this purpose, trying to spin him for expensive gifts or purchases for the home. They don't openly say, "Buy me a dress for $500." They will daily drive him past the shop window with him, admire, say that “Petka (what a good man!) He promised to give him this for his birthday”, cry that she has nothing to go to a corporate party, etc.

Goal 3. Entertaining

Oddly enough, but many people want to manipulate others just because they are bored with life. Eric Burns generally called this phenomenon psychological games. The same intrigues at work, especially in the women's team. Or the desire to diversify relations with your soulmate (flirt with your husband's friend to arouse jealousy in him).

Goal 4. Emotional

In principle, any goal of psychological manipulation can be called such, since it affects the emotional sphere of the victim. But here we mean something else: to force a person to change his feelings or attitude towards something. This is considered aerobatics, but at the same time borders on personality disorders.

Examples can be found at work and in the family. The new head of the department cannot openly say to his subordinates: “Be afraid of me!”. Through conversations, he learns something unpleasant about each of them and begins to blackmail. The constant fear of being exposed makes people obey him unquestioningly.

We draw a conclusion. Correctly formulate the goal, try to see the end result. Remember that this is what separates you from the manipulative psychopath.

Who to choose as a victim

Before mastering the methods of manipulation, carefully look at the victim on whom your influence will be directed. If this is a strong personality with clear value orientations and life beliefs, the goal may be initially doomed to failure. It takes a lot of time to learn the characteristics and vulnerabilities of the victim (in psychology they are called "buttons"), which can be pressed to achieve the goal.

An example of such "buttons":

• passion for pleasure;
• naivety;
• the need for ongoing approval;
• lack of independence;
• impressionability;
• immaturity in judgment;
• inability to say "no";
• locus of control (to write off everything on external factors, and not on one's own responsibility);
• blurry personal boundaries;
• excessive altruism (willingness to help others at the expense of oneself);
• , insecurity, lack of self-esteem;
• emotional dependence on the manipulator (the wife loves her husband too much);
• credulity;
• greed;
• loneliness;
• old age or youth.

Take a closer look at the person you are going to manipulate. If it has at least one of the above qualities, with the right technique, you can achieve anything from it.

We draw a conclusion. In order not to doom your idea to failure in advance, within 2-3 weeks you need to observe the person you are going to manipulate and find vulnerabilities.

Techniques

To manipulate the minds of people, there are various techniques that you need to be able to use correctly.

Basic Techniques

Technique 1. Coercion

Example. The boss orders the worker to do the project. The latter objects that this is not part of his duties. The boss retorts that he will deprive him of the bonus - the problem is solved.

Technique 2: Smoothing

It is used to eliminate an obvious conflict in which the manipulator will obviously lose and will be put in an unfavorable light. Applied methods: demonstration of one's kindness and gratitude, readiness to help at any moment, excuses, flattery.

Example. The wife nags her husband that he has a small salary. In response, he begins to sing praises to her about how patient she is with him, that together they endured so much, etc.

Technique 3: Evasion

Used in various situations. This is how smart people manipulate, the main method of which is logical traps, philosophizing and abstract jokes. The goal is to divert the interlocutor from the topic of conversation, redirect him to a different direction.

Example. The girl accuses the guy of treason that he was seen with another. The tactician answers with a question: "Do you believe the rumors or me?". Another option: he convinces that he simply had to see off that girl, because this is his sister, boss, brother's wife.

Overview of some techniques

Technique 1. False questioning

Refers to the technique of evasion. It is used to show the partner your fake interest in the subject of conversation. To do this, at first, after each important statement, it is necessary to exclaim: “Amazing!”, “This is an idea!”, “What are you talking about?”, “And how did I not think of this myself?”.

The interlocutor melts from how significant his proposals are for you. He loses his vigilance, and here the method of false questioning is turned on. The partner describes how this contract is beneficial for your company. In response: “How-how did you say? Indeed, this contract is beneficial primarily to you” - and stuff like that. As a result, in the head of the victim there will be those thoughts that the manipulator inspired him.

Technique 2. Showy indifference

Incredibly effective way. Each of us requires respect and attention. If we say something to the interlocutor, we always expect at least some kind of reaction - even if it's just a simple nod. Pressure on this “button” is often used by spouses.

Example. A wife constantly accuses her husband of cheating. At some point, he gets bored, as his excuses end in scandals, and he always turns out to be guilty. Here is how the technique of ostentatious indifference works in this case. When the wife once again starts talking about this, the husband does not react to her accusations. He calmly drinks tea, scrolls through the news feed on his phone.

The wife will become more and more inflamed, because she does not see the reaction to her words. Indifference brings a person to a state bordering on affect. The manipulator, on the other hand, listens attentively and does not miss a word in order to catch the victim in time. Such a moment may be the recognition of the wife that she climbed without permission in his phone. An excellent reason to make her already accused, since the source of all problems is her mistrust.

With its help, a loved one is often manipulated so that he is not jealous, or a colleague so that he does not consider you a rival and loses his vigilance.

This technique can work for the benefit of a man who is morbidly jealous. A woman must constantly inspire him that she is ugly, fat, means nothing without him and, apart from him, no one needs. This is so deposited in the subconscious that there have been cases when a wife cheated on her husband literally under his nose, and he believed in her innocence, despite all the evidence.

You can use this method to manipulate colleagues at work for career advancement. If you and someone else are applying for a high position, it’s enough to ingratiate yourself with him and convince him that he is excellent, you are not a competitor to him, where are you up to him. He loses his vigilance, weakens the race for a position, makes a competitive project carelessly, as he is sure of his victory. At this time, you are carefully preparing for the upcoming tests, doing your job perfectly, simultaneously processing the boss. Consider that the position is in your pocket.

Method 4. Fictitious crush

Deciding on this method, you need to be fully responsible for the consequences. In this case, you will have to manipulate the feelings of another person. By posing as an ardent lover, a lot can be achieved from the victim. This is often used by subordinates in relation to bosses of the opposite sex in order to secure career advancement or salary increases.

Expensive gifts, declarations of love, compliments, flattery and other acts disarm. How can you not give an award to your mistress or not promote your passionate admirer, who is ready to go through fire and water for you?

This method of manipulation often ends in a marriage of convenience.

Technique 5. Surprise attack

An interesting method, the purpose of which is to take a person by surprise, introduce him into a short-term state of stress and in just a few minutes achieve what he wants, as he will stop thinking sensibly.

Everything happens spontaneously, but the scenario is always the same: without warning, the manipulator bursts into the victim, starts shouting something, speaks emotionally, depicting the strongest excitement, helping himself with facial expressions and gestures, grabs his hands, rushes to his knees, etc. Understanding little , a person agrees to everything, just to calm down and clarify the situation.

Case from practice. After the next medical examination, the wife burst into her husband’s office all in tears, lamenting that she would die soon, that she had pulmonary fibrosis and that the only salvation was mountain, forest air and she urgently needed to undergo rehabilitation there. The husband, understanding only that the situation was extremely serious, was ready to issue a ticket to the sanatorium for any money. The wife immediately slipped him documents for signing, saying that she had found a way out of this situation.

As a result, the wife became the owner of a breathtakingly expensive house in a mountain resort, the documents for the purchase of which, without looking, were signed by her husband. And fibrosis was a consequence of old bronchitis, she had lived with this diagnosis for a long time. The seal was small, and she knew perfectly well that it did not threaten her with any complications.

NLP techniques

NLP-techniques (neuro-linguistic programming) is when you manipulate people not only with the help of words, but also with gestures, touches, facial expressions. According to the followers of this direction, it is this direction that reveals the secrets of a successful life, as it allows you to achieve maximum benefits from others.

When deciding to use them in practice, keep in mind that neurolinguistics takes a long time to learn. And her methods do not work separately, like those discussed above, but in a complex way.

NLP Technique 1. Attachment

The basic NLP technique, without mastering which it will not be possible to manipulate others. The goal is to establish contact with the victim. To do this, you need to use the mirroring technique - unobtrusively, so that she does not notice, copy her gestures, facial expressions, go step by step with her, breathe in the same rhythm, speak with the same intonation.

NLP Technique 2. Rapport

After establishing contact, you need to establish a trusting relationship with the victim. Find something in common between you and tell her about it, interest her (the boss is looking for natural honey for his sick wife - you are right there: “And my father-in-law has his own apiary!”).

Attachment and rapport are two essential NLP manipulation techniques. The rest you choose at your own discretion.

NLP Technique 3. The Three Yeses

And then the real magic begins. This is the culmination of manipulation, the preparation for which must be carefully considered. The victim is asked three questions, to which she must answer in the affirmative. These can be the most common phrases: “You can’t buy natural honey in the store now - right?”, “Do you take it for yourself?” [you know in advance that he needs honey for his sick wife], “Honey from the apiary is an excellent cure for all ailments. Do you agree?"

And then you ask the fourth question, which should solve your problem directly: “Ivan Ivanovich, will you give me three days off? The father-in-law's apiary is far away until I get there. According to NLP psychology, he will not be able to refuse and will answer “yes”.

NLP Technique 4. Pattern Break

After rapport, a person develops a certain pattern of relations with you. For example, you met a girl, she is serious, and then you stun her that there can be nothing between you. That is, you break the template in her mind, which she will glue back on a subconscious level with all her efforts, proving to you that everything is possible. Guys often confuse girls this way. For example, they admit that they are gay (although this is not so) and not a single beauty can seduce them. Or that they don't have sex in the first two months of dating, etc.

NLP Technique 5. Switching Attention

Consciousness at a particular moment in time can focus on one thing. By distracting the victim from the topic of conversation you need, you weaken his grip in this area. For example, the case of competition at work. Tell a colleague who is fighting you for a position that his wife is cheating on him. Or that they want to hang fire safety in the company on him. In a word, send him to another battlefield, and on this he will definitely lose to you.

NLP Technique 6. Lead

Not every manipulator will be able to master this technique. It consists of just one phrase. You need to say it in a calm, confident voice, looking directly into the eyes of the victim. It's a kind of hypnosis. The installation consists of two parts: you force the person to do what is needed, and at the same time explain to him that you will not be idle either. He realizes only the last part, that you, too, will not sit idly by, which means that he is obliged to do what you asked him to do at the beginning. Examples of NLP manipulative phrases:

• Wife - husband: "Make out the purchase of a sofa, and I'll go and see you a tracksuit."
• The boss - to the subordinate: "Stay today after work to finish the project, and I will find out what can be done with your vacation."
• Mom to son: "Solve the math for now, and I'll go to the store for something tasty."

Please note that in the second part there are no specific promises: I will look at the suit, not buy it; I will find out about the vacation, but I will not give it to you; I'll go for tasty, but without clarification.

NLP Technique 7. Reframing

This NLP technique is most often used to manipulate oneself, but sometimes it can be used in relationships with others. It is used when the situation gets out of control. For yourself, this is a regular auto-training, when you understand that you can’t change anything, and say that everything will be fine, that the Universe is on your side. The same phrases can be used to calm the victim in order to convince her that nothing depends on her.

Case from practice. Two friends competed over a girl. The advantage was clearly on the side of one, but he was a doubting and not self-confident person. Once she did not answer his call, he began to wind himself up that she was ignoring him and did not want to communicate with him (although she was just busy at that moment). A friend began to reassure him in the spirit of reframing that there was nothing to be done, you need to let everything take its course, let her decide everything herself, you already did everything you could. As a result, the first gave up, stopped trying to achieve her, and she chose the second.

We draw a conclusion. Master techniques, practice, choose methods of manipulation depending on the “button” of influencing the victim.

Secrets of manipulation

To successfully manipulate people and at the same time not go overboard:

1. Address by name.
2. Give compliments.
3. Listen carefully.
4. Do not state directly what you need.
5. Don't use negative phrases.
6. Remain calm, do not lose your temper when talking.
7. Look straight into your eyes, do not hide your eyes.
8. Nod your head, non-verbally express agreement with the interlocutor.

We draw a conclusion. The victim must be confused, disarmed with a deliberately good attitude before being manipulated.

Effects

Deciding to manipulate and not being a psychopath, you must clearly understand not only the end result you are striving for. You must be aware of other consequences of your action. You force a person to do what he initially did not want. In most cases, he will understand this in the depths of his soul, and this will cause him a response. And you must be ready for it.

What will the victim feel after being manipulated:

• distrust of you: I was deceived;
• removal, alienation from you: I was forced against my will;
• disappointment in yourself and in you;
• bad aftertaste: I was used.

In 90% of cases of conscious manipulation (not psychopathic), the victim eventually realizes that she was used for personal gain. Therefore, the next time she communicates with the person who controlled her, she will again expect deception. A second attempt to do the same often fails.

The most unpleasant consequence of manipulation is the loss of trust, which leads to problems in relationships. For example, you forced your boss to let you go on vacation outside the schedule. You have achieved the goal, enjoyed the rest. At that time, he was forced to look for a replacement for you, redo the vacation schedule, re-register documents and engage in other similar red tape. He will be angry that he followed your lead, draw conclusions, and in the future he is unlikely to do so, no matter what “buttons” you press.

We draw a conclusion. If you are a smart person, you will never manipulate close and dear people with whom you value relationships. And if you are forced to do this, you will be able to explain that it will benefit not only you, but also your partner.

Best Books

1. Adamchik V. 200 ways to successfully manipulate a person.
2. Gagin T.V., Borodina S.S. Exposure of magic, or a handbook of a charlatan.
3. Gegen N. Psychology of manipulation and submission.
4. Carnegie D. How to win friends and influence people.
5. Kate B., Romilla R. NLP Workshop for Dummies.
6. Levin R. Mechanisms of manipulation - protection from foreign influence.
7. Freud Z. Psychology of the masses and analysis of the human self.
8. Henrik F. The Art of Manipulation. How to read the minds of other people and quietly manage them.
9. Sheinov V.P. The art of managing people.
10. Shlahter V., Kholnov S. The art of dominating.

Not everyone can master the art of manipulating people. However, in the modern world, it can not be dispensed with. Taking on the role of a constant victim, you can never achieve what you want and never realize your cherished dreams. However, you do not need to make the above methods your lifestyle, as this is fraught with psychopathic personality and behavior disorders, as a result of which you will lose everything that you value.

It is impossible to understand how people are manipulated without knowledge of psychology. Unless with bitter experience, but why do we need it? There is enough literature and useful information that will allow us to identify click-buzz signals that scammers use to influence us.

For many centuries, people have studied their consciousness. Naturally, experts have made many interesting conclusions about the human psyche. One of the most useful books on manipulation is The Psychology of Influence by Robert Cialdini. In this article, we will look at some interesting psychological tricks that will help you identify a manipulator and not fall for his antics.

Learning to manipulate and expose deceit

Let's say you need $100 in debt. You know that if you ask your comrade for them, he will refuse. How to be? There is an interesting trick related to the impact on girls and men who do not know how to refuse. According to statistics, such people are about 80%. The point is the following. Example:

• try to ask a friend for 200 dollars - he will refuse.
• ask for $ 150 with the words "well then, at least" - he will refuse, but hesitate.
• then say: “Damn, well, at least 100 dollars” - he will agree!

This is just one example, there are many options. Let's say you need help moving furniture. You ask to spend 6 hours of time, knowing that initially you will need 2. As a result of communication, say, well, at least for 2 hours and get the result. So manipulated not only by friends, but also by relatives. Perhaps you just don't notice. However, there is nothing illegal or immoral in this. That is life!

Have you ever been embarrassed by people who are constantly trying to impose their help? Personally, such virtues seem naive to me, although many fall for their tricks. In the psychology of influence, there is such a principle as mutual exchange. For example, you were helped with advice that you did not ask for. Then an acquaintance helped to solve some issue, of course, free of charge. After that, he offered to borrow money when you needed it.

As a result, you hear a call from a friend asking for help. As soon as you try to refuse, the “click-buzz” signal is triggered - you cannot refuse, because you feel you have to! You shouldn't feel obligated to not do this. It is extremely easy to manipulate people who do not know how to refuse. If you are among such comrades, at least do not accept help, supposedly free of charge, from the bottom of your heart. In any case, if this is not manipulation, then the desire to become friends or something else. In every act there is a meaning, either obvious or not!

Manipulating people is easy enough if the person trusts you. Of course, it is easiest to gain trust in people who do not “wear masks”. But, the problem is that a bad idea is often hidden behind the frankness and openness of a person. Personally, I had to communicate with such people:

1. Talk about their mistakes;
2. Blaming themselves and insulting;
3. They pretend to be drooping people, put pressure on pity;
4. Report their tricks;
5. Then do not hide mean intentions towards others.

Many people deliberately tell you about their mistakes in order to gain trust. Here, the click-buzz signal works as follows. You think that if you are trusted with secrets, then a person will not do bad things to you.

Remember! If a person is capable of meanness, you should not communicate with him, listen and trust. Of course, we all treat someone badly, but often trusted secrets are a way of manipulation.

Speaking about posture, facial expressions, gestures, it is impossible not to reveal the secret of marketers. They are trained to communicate with customers based on behavioral factors. What positions indicate that you can be manipulated?

• crossed arms - protection pose;
• periodic scratching of the head means you are confused;
• stroking the chin - you are thinking;
• socks directed towards the interlocutor are interested;
• looking down means you're not listening too well.

When communicating with a stranger, try to gesticulate ambiguously, chaotically. It will knock down any person who is a threat. Not a single manipulator will be able to deal with your character if you keep your hands locked, put them behind your back, show your palms. However, if your interlocutor is not in doubt, it is better not to annoy with an excess of gestures. Probably just scare away a good person!

Ways to manipulate people (what is manipulation- the topic of the previous article) a huge amount. In order to master some of them, long practice is necessary, some of them are freely used by most people, sometimes without even suspecting it. It is enough just to know about some methods of manipulation in order to be able to defend against them, while others must be mastered in order to be able to counteract them.

Knowing the mechanisms of manipulating the human psyche is necessary, this allows you to protect yourself from intrusion into your psyche and skillfully counteract various techniques and methods of manipulation. It is also necessary to study and know the techniques of manipulation in order to learn how to skillfully understand them and use them for your own good. Without this knowledge, it is difficult to achieve great success in life.

When applying this or that method of manipulation, one should take into account the fact that a person’s life is multifaceted: in terms of education, life experience, and many other factors. Therefore, in some cases, for a more effective impact, an important point in using various methods of manipulation is preparation for their use.

First of all, it is necessary to determine the specific technique that is applicable in this case, and for this you should choose the target of exposure. These targets can be:

1. Interests of a person, his needs and inclinations;
2. Beliefs (political, religious, moral), worldview;
3. Habits, behavior style, ways of thinking, habits, character traits, professional skills;
4. Mental and emotional state (both in general and at the moment).

That is, in order that one or another way of manipulation had an effect, it would be good to know the addressee of this impact as best as possible, to collect more information about him.

Also, at the preparatory stage, an experienced manipulator thinks over the places and conditions of his influence. It is important for him to increase the likelihood of the manipulated reactions, sensations and emotions he needs. Therefore, creating conditions for increasing suggestibility, he chooses solitary, isolated places (although this is not always the case, sometimes the situation requires the opposite) and only then, without interference, applies the prepared manipulation technique.

The success of any of the methods of manipulation depends on the established contact between people. The ability to get in touch and keep it in the literature on business communication is of great importance, this is not a way of manipulating, establishing contact, it is basis of communicative communication. A skillful manipulator, acting subtly, knows this, he makes contact and develops it in every possible way (forms trust) in order to use it further. For him, this is a preparatory stage, during which he adapts in every possible way to the interlocutor, using the attachment technique. The essence of this technique is to find common interests and views, create an atmosphere of frankness, create a favorable impression of yourself. The manipulator sometimes even begins to copy the gestures of the communication partner, facial expressions, takes similar poses, does everything to win over.

When all the preparatory stages have been completed, the necessary information has been collected, the weaknesses have been clarified, the conditions have been thought out, you can begin to apply techniques and methods of manipulation. Although for the use of some techniques, preliminary preparation is not required at all.

Ways to manipulate people

Each method of manipulation below is accompanied by a brief instruction on countering it, protecting against it.

Before proceeding to the consideration of manipulation techniques, I also immediately want to note that manipulation methods are not always used separately, often combinations of techniques and methods are used for the effectiveness of the impact.

FALSE INQUIRY

This method of manipulation is used to change the general meaning of what was said, changing its meanings to suit oneself. The manipulator, as if for the purpose of clarification, asks again, repeating what you said only at the beginning, then replaces the words and, in general, the meaning.

Listen very carefully to what is being said to you. If you hear a distorted meaning, correct it immediately.

SHOWING INDIFFERENCE AND NEGLIGENCE

When one person tries to prove his case, to convince another of something, he shows his indifference both to the interlocutor and to what he says. The manipulator relies on the opponent's aspirations to prove his significance at all costs, to use those facts, that information that he was not going to disclose before. That is, the necessary information is simply displayed.

Manipulation protection- do not succumb to provocation.

JUMPING TO ANOTHER TOPIC

Having voiced one topic, the manipulator quickly moves on to another, thereby not giving the interlocutor the opportunity to protest the first one or somehow doubt it. This is done in order to fix this information (not always true) in the subconscious of the interlocutor. it manipulation method can be characterized as a suggestion with further use.

You should be attentive to what you hear and subject everything to analysis.

QUOTATION OF OPPONENT'S WORDS

In this case, the manipulator quotes, and unexpectedly, the words of the opponent. In most cases, the words are partially distorted.

Defensively, you can respond in kind, invent a phrase and pass it off as the words of a manipulator that he once said.

IMAGINARY DAMAGE

The manipulator shows his weakness, seeking condescending attitude towards himself. At such moments, the manipulated ceases to take the person seriously as a competitor and rival, his vigilance is dulled.

You can not succumb to this manipulation technique only if you always take any person seriously and see him as a strong opponent.

FALSE LOVE

Very common manipulation technique. Through a declaration of love, respect and respect, you can achieve much more than just asking.

"Cold mind" is here to help you.

FURIOUS ANGER AND FURIOUS PRESSURE

With unmotivated anger, the manipulator makes a person want to calm his interlocutor and expects that he will make certain concessions. Just like the previous one, this method of manipulation is quite common.

Opposition:

1. Do not pay attention to the rage of the interlocutor, do not start to calm him down, but show your indifference to his behavior, this will confuse him;
2. Or vice versa, touching the manipulator (whether arm or shoulder) and looking directly into his eyes, start to sharply increase your aggressive pace, responding to him. With the help of simultaneous exposure to visual, kinesthetic and auditory stimulus, the manipulator is introduced into a trance. And already you can set your own conditions for him, introduce your settings into his subconscious.
3. You can adjust, evoke a similar mood in yourself and gradually begin to calm down, calming the manipulator as well.

FALSE HURRY AND FAST PACE

Manipulation is possible by imposing a very fast pace of speech and pushing through your ideas. The manipulator, hiding behind haste and lack of time, chatters his interlocutor, who, not having time not only to answer, but even to think, thereby demonstrates his tacit consent.

Talkativeness, talkativeness and verbosity the manipulator can be stopped with questions and asking again. To slow down the pace will help, for example, such a trick as - “Sorry, I need to call urgently. Will you wait?

EXPRESS SUSPICIOUS AND EXCUSE

This way of manipulation used to weaken the protective barrier of the human psyche. The role of the manipulator is to play suspiciousness in any issue, the response to which will be the desire to justify oneself. This is what he is striving for. The protective barrier has weakened, you can "push" the desired settings.

Self-awareness is the defense here. self-confident person. Show the manipulator that you don't care if they take offense at you, and you won't run to catch up if he wants to leave. Lovers, take it into service, do not let yourself be manipulated!

FALSE FATIGUE

The manipulator makes it clear that he is very tired and unable to prove anything and listen to objections. And because of this, the person being manipulated quickly agrees with his words, and, following his lead, does not tire him with objections.

Do not give in to provocations.

The subtlety of this method of manipulation lies in the specifics of the human psyche - worship and blind trust in authority in any area. The manipulator, using his authority, puts pressure on a person, and often an opinion, advice or request lies outside the limits of his authority. How can you refuse a request or disagree with such a person?

Believe in yourself, in your abilities, in your individuality and exclusivity. Down with low self-esteem!

FALSE LOVE

The manipulator, as if in secret, almost in a whisper, under the guise of imaginary friendship, advises the manipulated to act in a certain way. He assures of the benefits and benefits of this act, but in fact he pursues his own interests.

We should not forget that free cheese is only in a mousetrap, you have to pay for everything.

BRING RESISTANCE

It is known that the forbidden fruit is sweet, and the human psyche is arranged in such a way that he is often interested in exactly what is under the ban or to achieve which it is necessary to make efforts. The manipulator, as a subtle psychologist, using these features of the human psyche, causes such desires in the object of his influence. Of course, for your own good.

Always remember your interests. Make decisions, thinking carefully, weighing all the pros and cons.

FROM PARTICULARITY TO ERROR

The manipulator draws the attention of the object of manipulation to only one detail, not allowing him to consider the whole picture, and forces him to draw conclusions based on this. Application of this ways to manipulate people widespread in life. Many people draw conclusions and judge any subject or event without detailed information and without facts, sometimes without even having their own opinion on this issue, they judge based on the opinions of others. Manipulators take advantage of this and thus impose their opinion.

Expand your horizons, develop, work to increase the level of your own knowledge.

IRONY WITH A grin

Manipulator, as if doubting the opponent's words, deliberately chooses an ironic tone of conversation, provoking him to emotions. In an emotional state, in anger, a person falls into an altered state of consciousness and is more susceptible to suggestion.

An effective defense against this method of manipulation is complete indifference.

DISCONNECT

The manipulator, in order to direct the conversation in the direction he needs, constantly interrupts the thoughts of the interlocutor.

Ignore this, or, using speech psychotechniques, try to make fun of the manipulator and if you are in a group, no one will seriously pay attention to his interruptions.

FALSE RECOGNITION OF FAVORABLE CONDITIONS

In this case, there is a hint from the manipulator of more favorable conditions, in which the object of manipulation is allegedly located. The manipulated begins to make excuses and opens up to the suggestion that immediately follows.

Do not make excuses, on the contrary, recognize your superiority.

SIMULATION OF BIA

The manipulated is placed in such conditions when he needs to avert suspicion of bias towards the manipulator. And he himself begins to praise him, talk about his good intentions, thereby setting himself up not to react critically to the words of the manipulator.

If you are already in such a situation, refute your bias, but without praising the manipulator.

MISTAKE SPECIFIC TERMINOLOGY

It is carried out through the use of unknown manipulated terms by the manipulator in the conversation. The latter finds himself in an awkward position, and being afraid to appear illiterate, he is afraid of what these terms mean.

Do not be shy and do not be afraid to clarify a word that is not clear to you.

IMPOSING FALSE STUPIDITY

In simple terms, this method of manipulation is to lower a person below the plinth. Allusions to his illiteracy and stupidity are used, which brings the object of manipulation into a state of temporary confusion. It is then that the manipulator produces the coding of the psyche.

Do not pay attention, especially if you know that you are a competent manipulator, an experienced fraudster or a hypnotist.

IMPOSSION OF THOUGHT BY THE REPETITION OF PHRASES

With this method of manipulation, due to the repeated repetition of phrases, the manipulator inspires the object with some information.

Do not focus on what the manipulator says. You can change the topic of conversation.

FALSE NEGLIGENCE

The manipulator plays on his alleged inattention. Having achieved the desired result, he seems to notice that he did something wrong, putting the manipulated before the fact - “Well, what can you do, I didn’t see, I didn’t hear, I misunderstood ...”

It is necessary to clearly clarify and convey the meaning of the agreements reached.

SAY YES"

Like manipulation technique is carried out by constructing a dialogue in such a way that the person being manipulated agrees with the words of the manipulator all the time. So the manipulator brings the object of influence to the adoption of his idea.

Change the direction of the conversation.

OBSERVING AND SEARCHING FOR SIMILAR FEATURES

The manipulator invents or finds some similarity between himself and the manipulated, casually pays attention to this, thereby increasing self-confidence and weakening protection. You can act, promote an idea, inspire a thought (using other methods and techniques of manipulation), ask.

Protection - sharply tell the manipulator about your dissimilarity with him.

THE IMPOSITION OF CHOICE

The manipulator puts the question in such a way that it does not give the object any other choice of options than those that he proposed. For example, a waiter in a restaurant, asking, coming up to your table - “Which wine will you drink today - red or white?”, Makes you think about the choice of what he offered, and you, for example, planned to order yourself a cheap vodka.

Clearly and clearly imagine what you want and do not forget about your interests and plans, no matter what it concerns.

The article turned out to be voluminous, although far from all the techniques and methods of manipulation are considered (but this is already in other articles). It is clear that it will not work out the first time. Yes, and it’s wrong to try to immediately apply everything that you read and remember. Choose several methods of manipulation (preferably complementary), practice their application, bring the application to perfection (as far as possible), and only then proceed to the next. We also recommend reading the article Sayings of great and successful people about manipulation».

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Many have heard the phrase "People are divided into those who ride and who ride." What kind of person is this who recognizes the weaknesses of another subject and can profitably play on them? What does it mean to manipulate a person?

The ability to influence an object

The manipulator has the ability to achieve his goal with the help of a person who does not even mean it. It does not require physical force. It can be assumed that this ability arose due to the weakness of the manager, the unwillingness to show aggression. The technique is based on playing with the mental characteristics of the victims, forcing them to act as if on their own behalf.

Origins of manipulation

The child is dependent on the parents and often suffers from ignoring their needs. Some children stop demanding what they want, but there are those who learn to play on the weaknesses of adults. For example, parents, coming home from work, do not pay due attention to the child - dad watches TV, mom cooks dinner.

If this is repeated every evening, then the child begins to think about ways to return participation in his life. Suddenly he gets sick. Mom and dad are now always there, looking after, talking with the child. That is, the child is in the center of attention. And he decides to use this method further. Another example of child control is throwing tantrums in crowded places. The child knows that mom or dad won't be able to take it and will end up buying the toy. Thus, the ability to manipulate people originates from childhood.

How does a manipulator work?

First he defines himself with the victim and with his goal. How to manipulate a person further? It is necessary for the victim to reach a state of vulnerability in order for his mental balance to collapse. To do this, the manager begins to play on the characteristics of the psyche and emotions of the individual, causes pity, fear, pride, greed, etc. Provocations can be both affirmative and negative. For example, an inducement through denial would be the remark: “It is clear that you are not easily angered. Well done!" And the question: "Are you so easily upset?" - is a provocation through a statement. Both statements play on the victim's self-esteem.

Working with Destination Settings

In psychology, there is the concept of "irrational beliefs", which can harm the individual. The manipulator can also play on them. The American psychologist Albert Ellis studied such attitudes and deduced the ABC mechanism, which explains their work. It is decoded as follows:

• A - occurrence of events.
• B - beliefs belonging to a particular person, which are used to explain events.
• C - the response of the individual under the influence of his attitudes, which is expressed both emotionally and in behavior.

Personal beliefs can be divided into four groups: "I (you, the world) must"; attitudes that give rise to the illusion of a bad outcome; an opinion about how the world around should be in order for the individual to feel safe; blaming themselves or others.

How to manipulate people the right way

Here are the main ways to manage an individual.

1. Changing the information presented in such a way that it is filled with a more beneficial meaning for the manipulator.
2. Hiding information. More often, one important part of the message is hidden.
3. Submission of information. In this method, two methods are used - this is either the delivery of material in a stream, without pauses, or its stretching. In the first case, the addressee is forced to organize a large amount of material and highlight the main one. In the second, because of the story in small parts, it becomes problematic to tie everything together and not lose the thread of the conversation.
4. The order of consideration of the material. Leaving the solution of a difficult issue to the end of the conversation, the manipulator can achieve a beneficial result for himself without resistance.
5. Influence on the subconscious. This method uses, for example, bright musical accents during a tense moment in the film.
6. Interference. Here, along with the main message, another one is issued in parallel, designed to distort the information of the first one.
7. The inclusion of conflicting signals in one material. For example, the difference between the content of a message and the intonation with which it is pronounced can confuse the addressee.

Language management techniques

There are also linguistic ways. Manipulating people with them is also great.

1. Impossibility to verify the statement. In this case, such expressions are more often used - “All men are bastards”, “We are to blame for everything ...” and so on.
2. An indirect indication of the norm conditionally recognized by society. For example: “You didn’t even clean up after yourself!”
3. Disguise the statement as an assumption. An example would be the following expression - "Despite the fact that they are together, they were never fired."
4. Link to some authority. For example, "All smart people say ...", "But good doctors think ..." and so on.
5. Ignoring the message. Answer with phrases that contain a different meaning.

Greater success can be achieved by applying different techniques, varying them depending on the situation.

Control and consciousness

How to manipulate the human mind? The technique that we will consider is management built on certain verbal and paraverbal structures. In Neuro-Linguistic Programming, it is called "reframing" or "rewriting". The point is to provide a new description of a phenomenon or a certain person in order to give rise to a different attitude towards him. Using the technique, you can evoke in a person a feeling of rejection towards his acquaintance, with whom he had friendly relations. This can be achieved by telling about the bad qualities and deeds of a certain individual, if the name is given only at the end of the story.

Basic Reframing Techniques

Methods of "redescription" explain how a person can be manipulated only by replacing words, part of the message. Let's consider them in more detail.

1. The technique of replacing one piece of verbal information with a new sentence or word. For example, instead of saying "I'm afraid" say "I'm afraid". The fear will no longer be so pronounced, and the individual will take it as an indication to be more attentive and careful.
2. Reformulation of intentions, or rather, their true disclosure. What does it mean to manipulate a person with this method? According to the basics of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, the goal of any behavior is positive. And it is only necessary to discover the true intention, then you can choose more acceptable actions. For example, a wife is often dissatisfied with her husband and allows herself to raise her voice at him. When her husband tries to find out the reasons for this behavior, she cries or leaves. Working with his wife, the psychologist helps to discover the real purpose of hysterical actions - lack of attention, support, love. After pronouncing the intention, the spouse can dress her behavior, for example, in a soft, gentle form and thereby try to achieve the desired again.
3. How to manipulate a person using metaphor? It is a parable or a short story in which there is a comparison with the situation considered. You can use an example from a famous fairy tale or cartoon.
4. Another effective technique in "redescription" is to use the criterion that the addressee formulated in the new statement. A case in point is the story of the sinfulness of a woman. When Jesus responded to the offer to throw stones at her: “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at me first.”
5. Encouragement to look at yourself from the outside. Otherwise, change the position of perception of the addressee. How to manipulate a person in this way? When condemning a certain situation by the addressee, you can ask the question: “And if you were in such circumstances?”
6. The technique of influence due to the inability of the brain to distinguish between fiction and reality. Asking questions like "How do you know...?" or “Why did you decide so ...?”, the manipulator reaches the goal of the reception - the “correctness” of the perception of the situation is considered.

As can be seen from the description of the techniques, reframing is based on linguistic techniques that make it possible to consider circumstances in a new way. What does it mean to manipulate a person using this method? This is the disclosure of different ways to achieve their true intentions, as well as the ability to look at actions from the outside.

How to manipulate a person using paraverbal and non-verbal communication

The main feature is the unconscious perception of information transmitted in such ways. Paraverbal communication plays an important role in control by changing the timbre, tempo, volume of the voice, pauses between phrases, and so on. The non-verbal is distinguished by its influence on the addressee with the help of gestures, postures, the distance between opponents, etc. Great speakers were fluent in every method and knew the answer to the question of how to manipulate a person at a distance and not only. For this, emotional gestures, a penetrating gaze, and a confident pose were used. A calm voice with a volume slightly above average is able to immediately distinguish a person with a leadership vein. If we talk about the speed of speech, the speaker will have the greatest confidence, whose words flow in a dynamic, moving stream. But this is true in the case when it is important for the speaker to disguise his influence on the audience.

Skillful Manipulator

Eye contact with the audience can create an atmosphere of intimacy, understanding, giving the speaker the image of an erudite and experienced person. And, conversely, with a conscious refusal to look into the eyes of the interlocutor, the impression of ignoring or distrusting him can be created. Let us give an approximate scheme of actions of the manipulator, the purpose of which is to force the opponent to accept his point of view.

1. The first step is to express confidence in your abilities and knowledge. Thus, there is a leadership influence on the addressee.
2. The second step is to loosen the verbal flow of arguments once the victim is under the control of the speaker.

Anyone can become a skilled manipulator. To do this, you will need to carefully observe the person, try to detect his weaknesses and hidden intentions, and then start the game.