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Loneliness is like a virus. It slowly and painlessly enters our lives, builds a strong wall between us and the world around us. And when we finally realize the insidious consequences, it is already too late. The reasons may vary. But the result, as a rule, is the same: apathy, emotional hunger, a feeling of uselessness and suicidal thoughts. Scary, isn't it?

Psychologists urge not to let things take their course and offer several tips for each situation. Let's try to figure out how not to go crazy from loneliness.

After the breakup

Unfortunately, not all serious relationships between a man and a woman lead to marriage. And the longer the romance goes on, the more difficult it is to get over the breakup. Usually one of the partners is more acutely and vividly worried about this. The first thing friends advise in such situations is to switch to work. By plunging headlong into a routine, you can supposedly suppress negative emotions in yourself and let go of the situation faster.

On maternity leave

During pregnancy, a woman can still afford to go out into nature or attend fun holidays and parties. However, with the birth of a child, the situation changes. Tireless chores, lack of face-to-face communication, and sometimes lack of support can harm a woman’s mental health.

The way out of the situation, how not to go crazy from loneliness on maternity leave, may be to engage in creativity. In free moments, psychologists recommend drawing, sculpting, sewing, knitting... In general, doing whatever your heart desires. You can keep in touch with friends through social networks. If you can leave your child for a couple of hours with your husband or grandparents, you can use this time usefully: for shopping or meeting with friends.

In family

The feeling of loneliness often comes to partners who are already married. At first the relationship seemed harmonious and happy. But after some disagreements that have long been in the past, or under the influence of external difficulties, the spouses begin to move away from each other. There are more silent pauses, less mutual understanding, the former passion disappears. What to do? How not to go crazy from loneliness in the family?

Here it is important to first decide whether to maintain the relationship or not. If the answer is yes, you need to take the initiative into your own hands. Joint leisure is a great option for this. This could be a romantic walk, a photo shoot and compiling an album, cooking a new dish, or you could take a risk and take a parachute jump or hang glider. The main thing is that all partners do things together. In the process, you can discover new qualities in your other half, and the relationship will not just improve, but will reach another level.

After the loss of a loved one

They say that “to survive is to overcome.” Alas, this is not entirely true. Yes, you can cope with the loss of a loved one, but your future life can turn out differently: closed, in despair and depression, or wisely, with the awareness of continuation and hope for the best. Psychologists say that a person imposes a feeling of loneliness in this situation on himself. He isolates himself from reality. The first few months are a normal reaction. But if depressive moods last more than six months, this is an alarming signal. How not to go crazy from loneliness in this situation?

Despite melancholy, it is necessary to be in society, especially where there are many children or pets. With their spontaneity and curiosity, these creatures evoke only positive emotions. And the more of them there are, the easier the rehabilitation process will be. You can also start growing flowers and giving them to friends and family. Happiness is contagious. By giving it to others, a person transforms himself.

After divorce

One of the most difficult problems in this category is how not to go crazy from loneliness after a divorce. Often this process is accompanied by quarrels, negative emotions, and internal emptiness. A common mistake in this situation is to switch to a new relationship. Usually this method provides relief only for a short time. Divorce will not be experienced emotionally, and its echoes will be drawn into new relationships, preventing them from developing harmoniously.

In order not to become a victim of depressive moods, psychologists advise changing the situation. If financial and physical capabilities allow, you can go on a trip. New places, new acquaintances (but without obligations), new experiences will not let you get bored and will give you peace of mind and self-confidence. As a last resort, you can limit yourself to a river cruise, a trip to a sanatorium or to visit friends in another city or country.

In old age

How not to go crazy from loneliness at 60 is a question for most older people. Approaching retirement age, men and women alike develop a fear of loneliness. And no wonder! The children have grown up, they have their own lives, work is no longer the goal of everyday life, there is no confidence in their health and strength. Feelings of uselessness and worthlessness appear. Of course, each story is individual. But the result is the same.

Psychologists advise not to lose heart in such situations and try to look at everything from a different angle. Now there is a lot of free time, you need to use it for your benefit: train your intellect (chess, crosswords, reading books), learn new things, find a hobby you like (handicrafts, crafts), take care of your physical health. If possible, you can go for walks, visit special age-appropriate clubs, communicate with peers, and maybe even with young people to share experiences.

Due to personal unsettlement

Young, healthy, but lonely people are becoming increasingly common. Due to their complexes, fears or other reasons, they doom themselves to be unhappy and pitiful. Some people are happy with this situation. They “get involved” in the free rhythm of life and prefer comfortable solitude and silence. As a rule, such loners have pets or devote their lives to their favorite business. They are not afraid of depressive moods, since they are clearly aware of their choice.

However, there is a cohort of people desperately seeking love and understanding. But after frequent failures, disappointed in their search, they become depressed. Unfortunately, the female half is most often affected by this problem. When asking experts how a woman can avoid going crazy from loneliness, it is impossible to get a universal answer. After all, the reasons for instability are individual. Therefore, the problem should be solved based on them. The only thing you shouldn't do is isolate yourself. You can visit special clubs and dating sites, go to parties, music concerts and exhibitions. As a rule, there are a lot of young people at such events. New acquaintances lead to more acquaintances and so on. You need to use any options.

In another city

For various reasons, people have to leave their usual environment and place of residence and move to other cities, countries, and other continents. A foreign atmosphere and culture often cause emotional constraint. A feeling of orphanhood, panic, and despair appears. How can you not go crazy from loneliness when you find yourself in such a situation? Psychologists unanimously advise taking initiative. Be friendly and friendly, do not hesitate to approach strangers with minor requests or seek advice. For example, how to get to such and such a street or where is the best place to rent housing. Little things like this bring people together and endear them to each other. Even a casual conversation in a store or transport can lead to an interesting acquaintance. You shouldn’t be “prickly” and be afraid of minor revelations. This inspires trust.

In the new team

A little cunning will require mastering in someone else's team. Otherwise, depression due to the lack of communication and like-minded people simply cannot be avoided. As a result, personal qualities will suffer as self-confidence will disappear. And the team will consider the newcomer a weak link, and will ignore and avoid it in every possible way. To answer the question of how not to go crazy from loneliness, you should correctly assess the situation and new surroundings. A few observations of the manners, words and actions of new colleagues will help you find common ground. Common interests and hobbies are the ideal basis for friendships. Even if there are none, you can learn something new for yourself. For example, the team often goes on hikes, likes to play quests, or goes to the golf club on weekends. This is a great opportunity to express yourself and arouse interest from new colleagues.

Summary

As you can see, there are many reasons to feel lonely and helpless. But don't give up. This can and should be fought. Of course, there is no universal answer to the question of how not to go crazy from loneliness. A psychologist's advice is only a way out of the situation. A lot depends on the person himself, his individual qualities and aspirations. If loneliness completely consumes a person, and there is no strength to fight it and no support from loved ones, then you should consult a specialist - a psychotherapist. Drug treatment may be needed. In any case, everything will depend on the person’s attitude towards himself. Despite difficulties, you need to move forward, look for options and train yourself to have a positive perception of reality.

March 8th... I'm sitting at home. One. 26 years. Have no children. Two marriages over the years. The first husband turned out to be bisexual, who wanted to explore the “world of sex” without me or with me, but if there were a lot of us. I couldn't live with it.

The second was like a “transitional staircase”. Compared to the first one, I immediately fell in love. A year passed and my newly-made husband tried to transfer MY house, MY car and MY land to his mother without my knowledge. He didn’t torment me for a long time, he told the truth that he needed money (it’s easier to live this way, without any necessary goal), but he really loves me and that he doesn’t want to break up. We separated for a month, during which time he managed to make the child our mutual friend, who has much more money than me and my family. I didn’t bother them... I never considered myself beautiful, but here everyone unanimously says the opposite, that there is something inexplicable about me that attracts men so much. I myself see how they “circle”. But there is no happiness at all.

A year ago I started dating an old friend, I thought that he definitely wouldn’t betray me. They began to live together. We lived for half a year and he told me that he loves me, but he wants to get married only after 35 (he is 25) and this will happen even if I get pregnant. And even if this happens, it is not a fact that we will not think about the further fate of the fetus. He talked to his dad, but his dad didn’t want a serious relationship for his son yet. Dad is a rich Jew. It was said so simply, while eating mashed potatoes and chops with tomatoes.

Now, it’s been 2 months since I’ve had MCH or not, I don’t know who MCH treats me well, is attentive when necessary, caring, but doesn’t let me get close. He says that it won’t hurt later when it’s all over. He said that tomorrow we were going to visit his friends in Velegozh Park, that it would be cool there and I should like it, sauna, swimming pool, romance...

I don’t even want to analyze it (in the MCH sense). I have no strength. I've never felt so bad before. I understand that no one dies with me, that everyone is alive and healthy. But my emotional state scares me. I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to sleep, I don’t want to wake up. I have nothing to cling to. I always believed that I WOULD HAVE EVERYTHING. Now you don’t even have the strength to believe, it seems that you are only “feeding” yourself with illusions. Yes, of course, there are friends, but there is no one to go out with. ALL friends follow their husbands. Those who don’t, I don’t want to be with those. Booze and clubs. I don’t even want to think why MCH didn’t stop by and give me flowers. He says everything will be tomorrow. No, he's not busy. At home all day. I just said before that I was afraid to get close, so that it wouldn’t hurt me later. I said that what he is doing NOW is not pleasant and we need to think about it.

I don't know, I have no alternative. And strength too. I don’t want to live in front of everything. What's wrong with me? I am ready for any criticism addressed to me. How can I consistently attract all kinds of “weird” men? I have no standards, I am an ordinary Muscovite, craving comfort, family and children. I'm stuck in this state. I want a family! I want to give my care to someone. On March 8, many people wrote to me that I deserve this incomprehensible female happiness. When will it be? How not to go crazy from loneliness and not being needed by anyone?

Loneliness is one of the “darkest” states inherent in humans. Man himself is social by nature - he requires communication, support, and the release of emotions. And when you are completely alone, then complete and hopeless depression sets in.

In addition to the fact that depression itself internally burns out a person, the state of loneliness “accelerates” this process several times. And it’s no wonder that many people cannot cope with such mental stress. The consequences can be different - from the fact that a person becomes a sociopath to the fact that he has to undergo a long course of rehabilitation in psychiatric hospitals.

What needs to be done in order to prevent loneliness from winning over your “I”, or, in simple terms, how not to go crazy from loneliness?

I offer this little instruction that will help you get out of this dark state, just remember that working on yourself is always hard and the result will never be noticeable immediately. To do this, the main thing you need is time, patience and inner determination.

Instructions

There is a huge gap between the words “loneliness” and “solitude”. Are you sure that your condition is loneliness? Maybe now the time has simply come when your soul requires privacy? Try to figure this out.

If you have determined that what you feel is loneliness, then we do the following:

1. Let's go out into the public. This means that you don’t need to lock yourself within the four walls of your apartment and constantly “scroll” in your head pitiful thoughts about yourself being unhappy. We get ready and go to a cafe, theater, museum. We attend exhibitions, open seminars, and public readings. We sign up for yoga, advanced training courses or a dance studio. In general, we are moving. Hard? I do not argue. But here you have two decisions - either sail where the wind blows, or make your life do what you need. The choice is yours.
2. Get a pet. And better than one that requires constant attention - a Vietnamese pig, for example. Or, more simply, a dog. Here, whether you like it or not, you will have to go out for walks, communicate with animal lovers and, quite likely, visit kennel clubs.
3. A hobby is also a thing that helps not to go crazy from loneliness. Everyone has their own hobby - some collect matchboxes, some Teddy bears, and others really like to look for treasures. What have you always wanted to do? Now is the period when you are quite capable of making your dream come true.
4. Reading helps you rethink your life and reassess your priorities. So read on for your health, it will only get better. The period of loneliness will pass, and the accumulated knowledge and useful information will remain with you. (See article "")
5. Try your hand at artistic creativity. Even if your paintings are not very beautiful and made in dark colors, you are not going to exhibit them in the Gallery. With each new drawing, the colors on it will become lighter and brighter, which means life will begin to bloom.
6. Get into the habit of photographing sunrises. This will have a very positive effect on your inner state.
7. Keep a notebook where you write down your thoughts. At first, of course, there will only be tearful and pitiful quotes, but then deeper thoughts will appear. Who knows, maybe you will become the next Montaigne or Nietzsche, and your aphorisms will join the collection of the most famous sayings?
8. Go somewhere on vacation - you can go to your native country, or you can “wave away” to distant countries. It is likely that your loneliness is exactly the once-in-a-lifetime chance to meet your soul mate or radically change your life.
9. Make a list of the advantages of your current condition. For example:
   
   • A lot of free time that can be used for something worthwhile;
   • No restrictions in desires and actions;
   • Complete freedom from others - you don’t need to adapt to anyone’s opinion.
10. Limit your time on the Internet. All “friends” on social networks are just a myth with which you “warm your soul.” This is simply an illusion of need and demand. Get rid of it.

This is the instruction I got. Choose from it what appeals to you most and start doing it. Or you can do everything strictly point by point. Most likely, you won’t even get to the sixth when you feel that loneliness has lost its ground and you haven’t had any thoughts about how not to go crazy from loneliness for a long time.

Don't focus on this condition, accept it as a fact. Everything in this life is given to us for a reason, and our task is to understand this, draw conclusions and start a new life. I am sure that loneliness is the moment at which the most important decision in life is made, a goal appears, its comprehension and a clear setting of priorities. Consider your loneliness as preparation for a happy, joyful life, and everything will be fine with you! Good luck!

Instructions

Don't avoid interacting with people, even if you don't want to see anyone. From time to time, meet with relatives or just go to the movies. It's best if your friend is a child. It doesn't matter if it's your nephew or the neighbor's boy. After just a couple of months of communicating with children, you will notice how your heart thaws, that you become a more sociable and cheerful person.

Get a puppy of your favorite breed. He will rejoice every time you come home and spend evenings with you. You will have someone to take care of, and he will have someone to play with. If raised correctly, he will remain loyal to you for life. In addition, the dog will need to be taken out regularly, and this is an extra way to take a walk in the park and make new acquaintances. Among dog lovers there are people of different ages and interests; in addition, there are clubs where dog handlers attend, as well as dog shows and competitions.

Throw yourself into your work, and spend the money you earn and bonuses on gifts for yourself and your family. If you have strained relationships with loved ones, take up volunteering. Finally, get yourself what you always wanted. The less time you have for idleness, the less often thoughts of loneliness will come to you. Increase your knowledge - sign up for courses. It doesn’t matter whether it’s investing courses or belly dancing lessons, the main thing is that you enjoy what you do.

If your health and financial situation allows you, go on a trip. However, it is not necessary to fly to exotic islands or climb snow-capped mountains. But you can finally admire the Eiffel Tower, Lake Baikal or take a ride along the Golden Ring of Russia. The more distances you cover, the more interesting your life will become. And since traveling is indispensable without making acquaintances, it will turn out to be even more enjoyable.

Related article

“Either I’m crazy, or the whole world has gone crazy,” thought the great physicist Albert Einstein, who created the theory of relativity. Indeed, the very concept of “madness” is very relative: what seems brilliant to one, another will consider crazy and abnormal. It is believed that most of the great discoveries were made by people with certain mental disorders.

Instructions

The creator who paints the picture of your life is you. It is you who determine its quality. And only you can decide which path you will follow: the path of an inventor who breaks stereotypes, or a simple happy person living a calm, measured life. Assess your strengths.

In difficult times, music and art have always helped humanity. During the war, people gathered together and sang, and this helped them remain human. Try to sing and listen to your favorite music too. It is desirable that it be kind and life-affirming, and not heavy and destructive.

Regular good sleep is the key to mental health. You need to sleep as much as your body needs. Usually a person needs 6-8 hours to recuperate. Brain activity during sleep is minimal, while performance is restored. Not only sleep is important, but also a stable daily routine in general.

A person's deepest hidden fear is to be alone. And this subconscious inner “dragon” forces us to do completely unnecessary things, get into the wrong relationships, and do the wrong thing. As a result, we feel deeply unhappy and have a sad feeling that life is being lived in vain.

Global loneliness is very rare. You don't live on a desert island, do you? There are always people fussing around you, even strangers and strangers. You go to work, there are colleagues, clients, noisy bosses. That is, you are not alone in society.

Do you know who feels lonely and unwanted? A person who is full of various complexes inside, ranging from fallen self-esteem to the fear of stepping into a puddle with his left foot.

Anyone who is in complete inner harmony with himself never feels lonely, because he has one most important person in his life - himself. And if you are bored with yourself, if you feel lonely, if you are tossing around and can’t find balance and establish balance in your life - this article is just for you.

Loneliness or solitude?

These two concepts are completely different. Solitude is your personal desire to be alone, collect your thoughts, conduct an internal analysis of yourself, or just relax. From time to time, each of us needs such a retreat.

And loneliness is a longing for communication, this is a state when inside there is a complete scorched desert, depression not only looms on the horizon, but already completely dominates and only aggravates the already decadent mood.

Understand yourself. What do you have - real real loneliness or just a desire to be alone? If you are sure that what you are experiencing now is loneliness, then let’s get out of this swamp together.

What will help you get rid of loneliness

I never tire of repeating: only a sincere desire to help yourself can create a miracle and return you to the joy of life, harmony and happiness. What I propose will require determination and patience from you, because it will take more than one day.

Cutting a passage in the wall of loneliness

Loneliness has one disgusting side - you get used to it. And you become unsociable, fearful, constrained, driving yourself into rigid boundaries imposed by a perverted subconscious.

It’s easy to deal with, but difficult to do. We overcome ourselves and go out into the public. No “tomorrow”, “I have nowhere to go”, “how will I be alone”. Silently! We got up, got ready and went outside.

A park, alleys, embankments are a good place to start. Every day we go out and walk, paying attention to our surroundings. And don’t be afraid if they contact you! It is advisable to start a conversation yourself. Well, is it hard for you to brighten up the loneliness of your grandparents, of whom there are enough in the same park, and just listen to them?

A few days later we complicate the task and go to the theater, museum, and exhibitions. Look in newspapers and on the Internet to see what open seminars are held in your city, what lectures are given. Go there. So what if it’s scary and awkward? This is the first time, well, maybe the second, and then the awkwardness will pass, and you will even begin to enjoy it.

More options? We sign up for dancing, fitness, swimming pool, yoga, aircraft modeling or hand rowing classes. Hard? And no one said it would be easy. If you don't give yourself a kick in the ass, no one else will. Your life - decide for yourself.

Making a friend

Why do lonely people get a pet? To have someone to take care of, to feel needed by someone. And also because a dog or cat loves you just like that, despite all the “cockroaches” in your head and bad character.

It's best to get a dog, not a cat. Because you will have to walk the dog - this is a huge plus. Because the dog needs to be trained, and this means that you will have to communicate with dog handlers and other dog lovers. And who knows how it will turn out, because the Universe loves to joke and give us a chance to become happy precisely when we are not expecting it at all.

Hobby

A favorite hobby also helps to take your mind off the thought of loneliness and not go slowly crazy. If you don't have a hobby, now is the time to find one.

Ideally, an active hobby: kayaking, skiing, skateboarding, jumping, cycling, motorbike. But if you are not yet ready for such extreme actions, then numismatics, philately, collecting pens, lighters, figurines of sleeping monkeys and so on are also suitable.

First, you will find something fun to do. Secondly, you will 100% start communicating with like-minded people. Thirdly, your inner world will stop spinning chaotically and will begin to gradually become orderly.

Self-education

Loneliness is an excellent period for increasing the level of self-education! Now there is an incredible number of paid and free online courses in any field. Plus, you can get distance education in a new specialty or improve your qualifications in an existing one.

Reading

Why, one might ask, lie with your head glued to the TV and watch the same type of TV series or stupid talk shows? Better start reading! This is a) useful; b) educational; c) changes worldview; d) gives impetus to new development.

In addition, loneliness and melancholy will pass over time, and the knowledge you received and new priorities will remain with you and help in building a new life.

Self-Inquiry

When, if not now, when you are single, should you explore yourself? Keep a diary, describe your condition, make plans for the future. Write 10 reasons why loneliness is good. For example: “Because I have a lot of free time, which I dispose of at my own discretion.” Or: “Because I am free in my actions, I don’t need to justify myself to anyone or anything.”

The more advantages you find in your solitude, the easier it will become for you.

Sex

Physiology has not been canceled! And loneliness is not a reason to deny yourself carnal pleasures. It’s clear that you don’t have a loved one right now, but you can cope with this in several ways:

• On your own (And there is nothing shameful here! It’s your health!).
• Use the services of special companies.
• Take a childhood friend as your lover or simply make a non-binding acquaintance.

Refusing sex will only worsen your condition, so take this issue under control.

Social networks are dangerous because of what you receive on them. illusion friendship and understanding. It seems to you that you have found a common language with someone, although in fact such cases are one in a million. I’m not calling for a complete abandonment of virtual communication, but spend as little time there as possible and carefully filter your conversations and don’t take it as a dogma that people on the other side of the monitor are your friends.

If you are already in a state of loneliness, then relax and don’t focus on it. Take it for granted, it will be much easier for you to survive this period. It will definitely pass if you just start doing at least some of the above. Loneliness actually gives a lot to those who do not try to fight it, but accept it and use it as a launching pad for their future happy life.

Now you have begun. Dawn. Remember that the night is dark just before the dawn? So meet the dawn fully armed and you will be happy! This is an axiom, and do not try to prove or disprove it. Just start taking action and stop feeling sorry for yourself, poor thing! Only the one who moves wins. Whiners - pass by, no one will help you! And the rest, strong in spirit and wanting to live and not vegetate, start! I am sure that everything will work out for you, and you will get rid of loneliness and become an absolutely happy person!